A divorce is a life-altering event that many don’t expect or wish for. It is a hard decision that either the couple takes together, or a partner has to do the needful to end things. Oftentimes, divorces are bitter and hard for both parties.
The process gets even more complicated when the kid(s) are involved as many times; as a parent, you would want to get custody of your children even if it means having to wait for long periods of time and going to court on a regular basis.
These things are mentally and emotionally exhausting, especially when your partner is not cooperating or ready to cooperate. Even after things work out, letting go of someone whom you thought of going old with will leave you bitter and lost. Here is how you can start healing yourself for yourself and your kids.
5 Things To Do After A Divorce To Heal Your Inner Self
1. Get into hobbies: Your mind will want to go through the chapters of old memories again and again. This can be saddening, especially if your marriage was hard on your mental health and emotional well-being. Instead of allowing your brain to spiral back into the memory lane, consider getting into hobbies that can keep your mind distracted and occupied with other thoughts.
There is no limit to the type of hobbies you can get into. From making ceramic cups to gardening your own herb garden, there’s a lot you can do. Additionally, these hobbies not only keep you occupied but will also ensure you can channel your inner frustrations and sorrow more constructively.
2. Try breaking your own cycles: When you are married, your routine ends up revolving around your spouse and children. So when you are finally out of that relationship, the void can seem overwhelming. Breaking the cycle will ensure you are finally able to make space for yourself.
It can be as simple as staying in bed for longer and visualizing the life you want to create, journaling when you are done bathing and having breakfast, going to the gym to break a sweat, redecorating your living space, doing your own book reading marathon, or even getting your home redecorated.
Doing these things creates room for more things in life to fall into your space while also moving on from things that could be pulling you down.
3. Change how things are: Whether it’s getting a haircut, coloring your hair in an uncanny color, or going on a vacation with your kids, try to change how things are and create room to soak in the goodness. Letting go and moving on calls for changing how you have made yourself used to things.
Making these changes will seem daunting; however, consider drawing hope and inspiration from your children, who look up to you. Furthermore, if you are struggling to figure out where to begin, getting in touch with professionals will help you decide (professional help also ensures you are not getting lost in the middle of a DIY project and letting go of changing your life).
4. Counseling and therapy are there to help you: If you are often finding yourself lost, frustrated, crying, withdrawing from social life, getting anxious, self-doubting yourself, or wondering if divorce is the end of your life, then consider speaking with counselors.
Prolonged periods of sadness can transform into anxiety and depression, which can hamper the quality of life you are leading. Moreover, it will also keep your kids on the edge. Getting professional help on time will enable you to properly cope with the life change and be there for your kids.
5. Surround yourself with people who help your healing: When you are healing from a divorce, having people who support your decision and love you unconditionally makes the process faster, smoother, and less painful.
A dedicated support system ensures you have people to talk to without fearing judgment. These people can also be part of the hobbies you take and the vacations you are going to and be there to help raise your kids in a family-like environment. Through this, your kids do not miss out on the love, care, and support they get from their family.
From getting the custody of your kids to getting your life together, there’s a lot that you need to do once you are divorced. Remember to take slow steps while taking care of yourself and your kids. The whole situation is new to you and them. Being gentle, transparent, and present will help you get back to life and start living the life you want to create.